No tags yet.
The people in my everyday life know that there are a few things that I just cant do. The way my nerves and anxiety are set up.. I just cant do them.. Yet! The list is simple yet complex. I don't do whales, odd numbers on volume settings, reptiles, clusters of ANY SORT, chewing loudly and did I mention CLUSTERS??! I mean, one of my biggest fears is opening a drawer and seeing a cluster of paperclips. Typing it as an example is making my skin crawl. So lets move on, shall we?
One of my silliest stories attached to my weird phobias was the time that I was on a date with a guy I was seeing. We were about 5 months into dating and I reeeealllly liked him. He invited me over to eat tacos and to watch The Color Purple, since I had never seen it before (don't judge). He clicked onto the movie and my palms started to sweat as I watched his thumb tap dance all over the volume button. I watched as he clicked the volume setting from 30 to 31 to 32 and then just as the enemy would have it, HE CLICKED BACK TO 31!!! I could feel the tacos starting to make their way back up my throat. How was I supposed to sit there for two hours with the volume on an odd setting? I started to wipe my hands on the napkins because I was sweating profusely. Two minutes later he paused the movie, and placed his hands over mine. He said "This is going to sound weird but can you not wipe your hands on the napkin? The sound literally makes me have a panic attack." I thought to myself, okaaay this guy is a sick freak. How i'm sposta clean my hands?? He then went on to say that he just presses his hands against the napkin to avoid the sound of ruffled paper. By that point I felt comfortable enough telling him to put the volume on an even number or we've got to stop seeing each other.
He spent a year carefully adjusting the volume, finding a way to chew without opening his mouth and removing clusters from his home while I learned how to press my hands against napkins like a kindergartener, how to not multitask during a movie, and to face all the labels outward in his cabinets. There were too many rules between the both of us. We were both the human version of the no parking signs in LA.
What I did learn from that experience is that I actively want to get rid of some of my OCD and all of my phobias. I do want to do fun stuff like go whale watching or to not cringe when a bag of chips is being opened. Baby steps. Do any of you have any strange phobias or compulsive behaviors that are just silly or is it just me?? Nothing should be in a cluster though.. NOTHING!!