Petty Is As Petty Does

Break ups are hard but have you all ever experienced a tit for tat, eye for an eye, petty party, na-na-nny boo-boo break up? Come on, most of us have been there. You know, the type of breakup where you're like "oooooooh, so you don't want to be with me? Cool.. let me just change the Netflix password. Enjoy seeing incorrect username/password combination for the next 3-5 attempts, dummy!!" Although break ups seem like the end of the world at the time, you later embrace them as lessons learned and if you're lucky, you come out of them with hilarious stories like the ones I'm about to share. I have complied some of the pettiest break up stories told to me by my friends from over the years. All of the experiences are told in first person and names have been eliminated to protect judgment from the level of utter pettiness. Enjoy.

I once broke up with a guy and and a few days later, I received a CashApp request from him for 50,000 dollars for pain and suffering.

I broke up with my boyfriend then drove to his mother's house to reprimand her for raising such a terrible human.

My ex let me borrow a very expensive collectors item. When we broke up, I tossed it in the trash. It now belongs to a landfill in Atlanta.

I received a text message from an ex after he had blocked me for an entire month, I told him that I was in his city (I was not). I then convinced him to buy me breakfast and meet me at a random apartment complex that I googled. When he showed up and texted me that he was at the door, I told him to KNOCK LOUD and then I blocked him.

I took my exes cat

My ex was cheating on me during our entire relationship. When we broke up, I caught wind that he had a baby on the way. I found out where they were registered, purchased everything on the registry and returned it. Not sure how that baby shower turned out.

When I was younger, I was A manager at a popular food chain, my ex called corporate and left an anonymous tip that they should drug test me for heroin after I broke up with her.

My ex broke my Xbox in the midst of our break up so I took all of the money out of our joint account.