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This past weekend a friend and I attended an album release shindig for an up and coming artist. The event itself was well put together and you could tell that many of the folks that were in attendance were lovers of music so that was a plus, plus for me. In between the artist playing his music and folks mingling about, they managed to squeeze in a Q and A session ran by a sweet (bless her heart) racially ambiguous woman that made me shake my head the second that she hopped on stage with her "Yo, yo yo wassssups" locked and loaded and ready to "relate" to her target audience. My initial thought was let's count how many times she's going to say "fo sho" before I lock eyes with another equally annoyed colored person and we both giggle until we burst but sadly, she didn't even give me the opportunity to tally the '"fo sho's" before she made this bold statement that has given me nightmares since Saturday night. She asked the artist what his inspiration was for a particular song and the artist stated that the song was originally for Lil Uzi Vert. Her response was "Lil Uzi Vert is LEGENDARY". When she said it my entire body started to malfunction. The first two rows of my edges sizzled off like a midsummer brushfire and my soul packed a bag in preparation to meet Uncle Charles at the crossroads. I couldn't believe that she said it with such delight and authority and not only that, people were shaking their heads in the "yes" direction. I started to ponder... If lil Uzi Vert is considered legendary, folks must think Nas, Outkast, Wu Tang, Tupac, Kendrick, Jay-Z, Jadakiss, Foxy Brown, Eve, and many other brilliant rappers of my day are terrible. So, I went to my streaming service and typed in Lil Uzi Vert just to make sure that I wasn't being a hater. I didn't make it past one song before my nose started to bleed. I really do love music. Always have and always will. To me, the best songs are the ones you can feel, see, and taste. When Method Man and Mary J Blige collaborated in 95' and he said "Even when the skies are gray you would rub me on my back and say baby it would be okay" I could see it and I could taste it. That was the type of love that lived in a section 8 apartment with bars on the windows. That was the type of love that ate cream of mushroom over baked chicken thighs with canned green beans. THAT WAS A GOOD SONG! When Dolly Parton begged Jolene not to take her man you knew that Jolene had Auburn hair, green eyes, porcelain skin and perfect teeth. She basically looked like a Disney character how was Dolly Parton supposed to compete with that??? THAT WAS A GOOD SONG!!! When Tamia said that "all she does is lay around, two ears full of tears from looking at your face on the wall" in Officially Missing You, you knew that she was heart broken laying on her bed and too distraught to wipe her tears but not distraught enough to rip up ol buddy's pictures yet. THAT WAS A GOOD SONG!! So when homegirl said Lil Uzi Vert I was definitely like HUH? To be fair, she also said 50 thousand other folks were "THE G.O.A. T" so it could be an LA term of endearment for her. Ya'll know how LA folks talk: "I'm in the valley" "lets do lunch" I'm on my way" "I drive Uber for fun, ya know?" "Can I get a green juice, collagen smoothie minus the green juice and can you put the collagen in a syringe?" You know.. Terms of endearment.