Don't Call Me Chocolate.

"You know, old, Jewish White men love chocolate." This statement was said to me by an overly confident ex-rocker as I patiently waited to get my car washed this past Sunday. The chocolate he spoke of was in reference to my skin tone and as he leaned in to tell me that he had a studio he would LOVE to show me I thought, wow.. what an incredibly offensive statement. Not only was it bizarre that he thought that I would give myself to him because he has free rein to a mic and Pro tools but the simple fact that he thought I would be flattered by his fetish made me want to VOM. So let me be transparent with you all. This is not the first time I have been called chocolate in a way that made me feel like a field nigga being lured into massa's house with promises of a biscuit and gravy. Several white men (yes, even ones i've dated) have said off color things pertaining to my skin tone. As a matter of fact, I've even had black men and women suggest to me that I should date a white man because they "love thin, brown girls." I guess my question is why? Why is this the general consensus of so many people? I suggest that it goes as far back as slavery. I believe that the fascination comes from something deeply rooted in a sick and twisted game of "let me own you". Like I stated previously, I have dated outside of my race and it has consistently gone south simply because white men tend to say racist statements and then look at you sideways when you take off your hoops and want to box. I don't believe every interracial relationship is like that but for me, I've clearly chosen white men who "just wanna see what it's like." The simple fact that this Jewish, white man found it Kosher to tell me that he likes chocolate made me want to buy him an entire box and shove it down his throat... but i'm a Christian Lol! Either way, I think its important to change this narrative (even in the black community). We have got to stop telling each other that we should date outside of our race because "white men will treat us better" or "they love thin, dark complected women." To me, when someone says statements like this it makes a wide assumption that black men do not know how to treat black women. Lets just be honest, a bad man isn't race specific. A bad man is a bad man. If he treats a black woman bad he will indeed treat a Spanish, White or Indian woman bad umkay. He may have his preferences but chances are, if he cheats on a a black woman he's going to cheat on a white woman too, that's a LUST issue. These FACTS are neither here nor there though. I can not change the world but I can draw a line in the sand and create a standard for my own life. Nobody can call me chocolate. I'm a black woman. A first generation African and a straight up queen. Get familiar.