I Don't Like You, I Love You

Six years ago I attended a writers camp that was pointless as far as the music created, A God send because of the friend I made and a real eye opener because I realized that Atlanta is the Mecca for talented people of color. The first day I arrived at this "camp" I remember taking a look around and immediately calling my sister to get a plane ticket back home. As I was in the midst of a spoiled brat meltdown, I heard a heavy New York accent say "Yo queen, you gon' hafta stop wit all that stuck up sh*t" I was APPALLED!! When looked up to see "who had the audacity" there stood a 6 ft, brown skinned, pop tart eating, New Yorker with Timberlands on (in the summer). I wanted to kill him. I mean.. how dare he call me out for taking an opportunity for granted. I immediately loathed him but he didn't care. He continuously found reasons to speak to me and I grew even more angry! We were there for a week straight and by the third day he looked at me and said "Chas, stop playing, you like me, B" I could've SCREAMED.. I DID NOT LIKE HIM!! He was arrogant and a know it all and there was NO WAY, right? On the fourth night of us being there we had time to stop working and relax a little bit. He and I stayed up all night talking. We were so much alike yet so different at the same time. He was a rapper from New York and he had the biggest heart. His smile and laugh was infectious and above all, he was honest. I was fresh off the heels of a terrible breakup and he reminded me that I was a rare find and my talent, beauty and sense of humor left no room for anyone to treat me less than. I realized right then and there that I didn't like him.. I loved him. He was the friend I needed and the not- so-secret crush God gave me to move on and release any bitterness I was holding on to. When we made our way back to Atlanta he called me and we began working together on various projects, attending hilarious game nights and began a real friendship that sometimes crossed the line but always made its way back to a respectful love that gave us both a sense of peace and happiness. We have never had an argument. Our friendship is one of the most honest friendships I have ever cultivated and theres never too much time that goes by where he doesn't call or text me that I am amazing and that he loves me.

I came home for the holidays (Atlanta). Besides my family he was on the top of the list of people to see. I sent him my usual where you at text and he responded with his address and "come by I cooked". First of all..this man puts cheese on Eggo waffles so I wasn't enticed by the second half of the text but I hopped in the car and pulled up to his home at 8pm. When we saw each other we hugged for 5 minutes straight. It was 5 whole minutes of him saying "Yo,Chas, my African queen..yooooooo yooooooo." We yet, again talked all night, laughed and talked about how incredibly blessed we are. I have never seen someone do as well as he is doing in such a short amount of time. I'm always so inspired by his work ethic and his love for his family and people in general. He yet again reminded me that I'm too good for some of the things that I allow and he told me to stop dealing with "cornballs." I laughed.. He was right. He's rarely ever wrong. He has always been there for me and I have always been there for him..its just how it is. No matter how successful he becomes, he always keeps the same energy and makes sure that he invites me in on whatever project he's working on. Respect level on 10. Rare.

On my drive back to my fathers house to pack my things and prepare to head back to LA.. I smiled at how AWESOME God is. Who would have thought that 6 years ago when I pulled up that writers camp I would leave with a lifelong friend that increases me in so many ways, challenges my thought process and keeps it real on so many levels. I'm just thankful so yeah.. I don't like you witcho big head.. I love you. For ever, ever. Thank you.