The Art Of Learning To Deal

I think I'm the first person to admit that I am far from perfect. I have a thousand little quirks about myself that I am sure drive people nuts but I doubt that anyone around me could say that i'm completely clueless about my flaws. One of my biggest shortcomings is that I am extremely sensitive. If you say something that rubs me the wrong way or treat me a certain way, I will forgive you but I for certain will NEVER forget that you rubbed me. My best way to deal with these types of people is to distance myself completely or become ridiculously silent. I find it to be way easier than trying to change someone who feels as though there is nothing about them that needs to be changed.

I went on a hike with two great friends of mine, Mel, who is very whimsical yet level headed and Keisha, who is structured and straight forward. I laid out many of my frustrations in such an open and honest way and they gave their opinions and advice. The great thing about being around these two people although they are not perfect (none of us are) is that they are actual salt and light in my opinion. They are patient, kind, loving, and will give you Godly advice with a mix of humor and authenticity. I found myself having a tremendous amount of peace just being able to chit chat but also talk about real things like my career and even things like writer's block (which I have been struggling with for weeks). The funny part is, that I had someone tell me that they thought I was going through a depression because I had gained weight and become distant but that wasn't the case at all. I truly just didn't want to be around them or their energy. I started to see things that I didn't like and so I dealt with them the way I do most people that "rub" me which is to retreat. I'm not saying that what I did was right but it made me feel better knowing that I didn't have to deal. I'm slowly learning that we all must face our fears and deal with people even when we don't want to. We just have to learn HOW to deal with people. I don't necessarily have to stop talking to folks but I most certainly can alter how I deal with them. Not everyone has to be closer than close. Not everybody deserves to know your plights. Not everyone deserves to know the things that you even pray about. Sometimes people can be at arms length and you can love them with the same intensity that Christ loves the church.

Yesterday, as we struggled up Runyon Canyon Mel, looked at Keisha and I and said "I'm learning that I either care too much or I care too little". The man next to us shouted as though she had just preached a whole sermon. I think many of us struggle with that. I know I do for sure! I care waaaay too much. I think its beautiful to care but its a true art to learn how to deal with people that care just a weee bit less. I'm working on being an Artist!