GUSBAND

I walked in and saw him. Yep, there he was sitting at the front desk with a headset on. He was tall and brown with a perfect hairline. He smelled of Tom Ford and overachievement and I was impressed. He took a bite of a low calorie rice cake, looked at me, waved and said "who are you here to see"? I was initially there to interview for a job that I wasn't qualified for but I quickly made the decision of killing two birds with one stone. I was now there to get the job AND a fabulous new gusband. What is a gusband you ask? A Gusband is an important part of every woman's social and emotional life. A gusband is well dressed, educated, funny, successful and well traveled. A gusband knows where all the good brunch spots are and most importantly they are unapologetically gay. I realized months ago that there was a grapefruit size hole in my west coast heart. Sure, I have good girlfriends but there is nothing like a beautiful gay man that tells you the truth, knows all of your secrets, and calls you up randomly to say "i'm in town, get dressed". I know it sounds like a sweeping generalization to assume that most gay men are polished and successful but to the naysayers, I say: Andy Cohen, Anderson Cooper, Harvey Levin, Andre Leon Talley..hell.. Big Frida. Every queen deserves a Gestie (gay bestie) that is slightly cuter than her and is doing this thing that we call life, with a little bit more grace.

I guess I'm a bit spoiled because i've had the same gusband for over a decade. He now resides in New York and I can only catch him when he's not traveling to places that make Trump angry. I met him when I was a teenager working at Abercrombie. He was the first person to tell me that I was chubby (I was). I admired his honesty and his impeccable sense of humor. We spent many drunk nights together traveling back and forth to Athens, GA and doing the absolute most. I mean, he held my awful weave ponytail when I threw up my Olive Garden pasta in the back of Allison's car. Ya'll don't know who Allison is but thats besides the point. He is the example of a very easy friendship. We've come a loooong way from being silly teens. I mean.. Fast-forward a couple of years and now he's living his best life. He's the only man that has the EXACT same American Apparel onesie as me and will put it on to watch Set it off while knowing every single word. He's smart enough to not count on money that I owe him and kind enough to keep allowing me to owe him MORE money. That's a good gusband. Truth is, I don't think that I valued him to the degree that I should have when he was a 30 minute drive away in Atlanta. I wish I could hop in the car, go to his house, get cozy, order fattening food and watch trash TV with him everyday now but you snooze, you lose. Life has taken him to the other side of the continent and its been almost a year since i've been able to see if he's actually in shape or if its a heavy filter on each insta post.

It's going to take some time for me to find a perfect West coast Gusband. I thought that front desk bae would at least pacify me until I could get back to New York but he didn't make the cut. He has yet to bring a tasty meal for lunch and I just cant trust that he'll be able to lead me to the good brunch spots. Basically it all boils down to this.. Kevin Scott. I miss you.