Kevin Bacon

Those closest to me know very well that my mood changes like the weather. One day I’ll like something and the next day I’ll be completely repulsed by it. The two constants that have held strong for over ten years have been my fear of whales and my extreme dislike for Kevin bacon. Why Kevin bacon you ask? Well... it all began years ago when I watched a movie called “Sleepers”. Kevin played the role of an abusive security guard so incredibly well that I was completely convinced that he had to have done some of those disturbing things before. From that movie, an irrational beef ignited and I did what any overly compulsive person does..I went on a google spree attempting to find out everything I could about Mr Bacon and not even “Footloose” could save him from my “let’s Fight “ list. It was difficult because he’s pretty squeaky clean and quite the philanthropist but as I dug deeper than my nieces looking for coins in a couch, I found out that he’s married to his cousin. Yep folks He and his wife are cousins!! It wasn’t much but it was all I could find and it enough lighter fluid to keep the fire burning on our one sided feud. As the years have gone by I’ve realized that my annoyance with Kevin Bacon has become a comfortable place for me. It’s like falling asleep in a new pair of slipper socks. As you drift into REM one with your scarf tied to the front, you settle into an extremely comfortable and toasty sleep but as the night goes on, you begin to toss and turn, then that one stubborn sock (generally, the one on your left ) manages to escape your foot. You wake up immediately, scramble around under your covers on a desperate search for it like a lady of the night looking for her panties. You almost give up but then... Alas!!! Your crusty finger tips land on that fluffy toe oven and you slip it back on so you can go back to dreaming about not having a 9-5!! You feel me? So really theres a slight peace in my battle with Kevin Bacon. Honestly, If I ever decided to call a truce with him I sincerely believe that I would be stuck in that space that happens right after the sock leaves my baby toe... Complete and utter discomfort... Nobody wants to be uncomfortable am I right or am I right?? Before you all start to question why I won’t just let it go since he’s truly hasn’t done anything wrong, I ask you this... Have you ever seen “Sleepers"? Is it normal to marry your cousin? And lastly, haven’t you ever had an imaginary beef before? I know there’s somebody out there that has no idea that your sword is drawn and pointed directly at them. As a matter of fact, I was once in a room with a very well known producer watching an award ceremony and the moment that Celine Dion's face popped up on the screen he went in a complete panic attack. That 250 pound man screamed like a little girl and closed his eyes tighter than my fist when new friends ask for money. He had a full on meltdown and told me that Celine Dion was the devil. He had no reason why she was the “devil” but he certainly didn’t want any parts of her. That moment was crucial to me. It allowed me to be firm and confident in imaginary game of battleship with Kevin Bacon. I'm totally ok with it!! It also showed me that creative people are just a bit odd and we could use a little therapy on Tuesdays and Thursdays but whatever! Anyways.. Kevin Bacon.. Let’s get ready to rumble... FOREVER!!!!!!!! I would love to know who irks ya'll for no apparent reason (celebrity or not). Lets talk about it!