$32.77

At 9:23 pm on Sunday, May 6th I attempted to balance out my life by going on a date with "gym cutie". At 11:45 pm when the check was ever-so-gently placed on the table, I watched as he vigorously patted himself down from top to bottom like a TSA agent in a desperate attempt to find $32 dollars and 77 cents. In that moment I realized why I generally bury myself in working, finding perfect song concepts, reading books, working out and/or watching the occasional Blackish episode. Yep.. In the mist of this God-awful date a moment of true eureka fell from out of the sky and sat directly on my frontal lobe. I realized two things..1) that bad dates happen to good people and 2) Nikki is one of the realist friends I have. I did a quick flashback of her reminding me to let a man be a man and her firmly stating that when the check comes to the table while you are on a date don't blink, don't move and don't glance. I had done all of her instructions correctly except for the fact that I glanced... I glanced..I glanced damnit. When I saw that he was reaching into his invisible bra and scraping change together to come up with 32 dollars and 77 cents all while mumbling under his breathe that he "didn't know we were going to do all this" I lost it. Don't get me wrong, I could have helped because I had $32.77 I had SEVERAL 32.77's but there was no way I was going to let him think this was acceptable. This was quite possibly the silliest date i've ever been a part of. Outside of the fact that he couldn't afford to date anyone he was also full of asinine comments. At one point he told me that I seem to work too much and that I need to sit down and have a child. I could've smacked him across his ashy lower lip but I kept it classy. When we finally reached the end of hell date he walked me to my car and as I went in to give him a PG rated church hug he grabbed the back of my head and stuck his tongue down my throat without warning. He got away with it for about five seconds before I squirmed away and told him that he needed to "ask"LOL. The most disturbing part is the mere fact that we are three days out of this terrible night and this man is still calling and texting. HOW SWAY???? So my question is this..Ladies and gents. How do you kill a roach that wont die?? I'm kidding..But on a real note..What was your most awful date? Details?